Fear Of Rejection.
If you’re wondering if you’re the only one who struggles with a fear of rejection, or even if you know other people who do struggle with these things, you know that the realization alone isn’t enough to overcome your problem.
Here’s the great thing about it: it’s a problem. And just like any problem, there’s a solution.
If you’ve ever been rejected by a girl, you probably know the negative feelings that accompany it.
You most likely feel, well—rejected. You may also feel shame, inadequacy, inferiority, loneliness—the list can go on.
Here’s what I’ve learned about the fear of rejection (or any fear in general).
YOUR BELIEFS AND THOUGHTS TRIGGER YOUR FEAR.
Think about that for a moment.
Have you ever thought about why your friends never seem to have this problem (at least to your knowledge), but you do?
It’s because of their mindset about rejection. They may say to themselves, “Man, that sucks. She was really hot. Oh well, I guess I’ll move on to the next girl.”
You see, they don’t care if they get rejected because the thoughts they have after being rejected don’t allow them to have a fear of rejection. Sure, they may have been nervous to talk to that blonde bombshell, which everyone has experienced.
However, there’s a line between being nervous, which is a healthy emotion, and being neurotic.
CHALLENGE YOUR THOUGHTS WITH THESE MENTAL EXERCISES:
- First, and most importantly, you must realize what you’re telling yourself. Once you do, write these thoughts on a sheet of paper.
- Next, depending on the nature of these thoughts, you can do several things. You can:
– Ask a family member or a friend if they’ve ever had any of the thoughts you’ve listed.
– Visualize what you’re afraid will happen when you have any of these thoughts. Imagine walking up to a girl and being rejected. Make the situation as intense as possible, having the girl rip you to shreds with every possible thing she could say to you. Keep doing this until you realize that what you’re imagining is so ridiculous that you couldn’t possibly understand why you believed it in the first place. After all, girls aren’t that mean. 🙂 In fact, if a girl really did say the things that you imagined, it would be her problem, not yours.
– Do some field testing. For instance, if you think that every girl you talk to is going to reject you, then you can test that theory with an experiment in which you actually approach girls. This takes courage, but I promise that it will pay off for you.
– Ask yourself if there have been times when you weren’t rejected by a girl. If there have been, then you’ll figure out that you’re telling yourself something that isn’t true.
– Next, write down on a piece of paper more positive things to counteract the negative things you once believed.